I’m about to make an egg salad wrap…

16 Nov

on a whole grain tortilla – the egg salad is lite, primarily made with lite sour cream and a little mayo.  Lunch will be either leftover white chicken chilli, or braised lentils and an apple.  I’m having girlfriends over for dinner, and will make a Greek turkey meatloaf.

What I’d REALLY like to do right now is go buy a large bag of Wavy Lays and a carton of sour cream, sit in front of a good show and go to town…Of course, I’m trying to decide why I want to do this.  Here’s what I’m thinking…

I’ve had a cold for the last several days and and am feeling tired.  (One of my triggers to eat is feeling tired.)  The comfort of the ‘old routine’ sounds very inviting.  

Because of the cold, I have not been to the gym.   I’ve also not walked the dog – Monday, Tom walked him for me – yesterday was a combination of lots of running around and being tired from my cold – today, it’s supposed to rain pretty steadily all day. I know, people walk in the rain, but I just don’t like it.  (I may make myself at least go around the block a couple of times just to get back in the routine!)

So, along with the comfort factor, I’m thinking that NOT exercising for a few days feels reminiscent of the ‘pre-healthy’ lifestyle change.  (I hate to admit it, but, if I could get the same benefits from NOT exercising that I get from it, I’d probably choose not to exercise.)  You know – lounging, napping, zoning out in front of the TV, eating what I choose and not thinking about the consequences – doing whatever I want (or don’t want)!

My mind knows this food, or behavior won’t be good for me, and that it is an unhealthy choice.  Emotionally, I want the instant gratification of the chips – I’m even having a hard time concentrating while I write this because I want to tune out the good choice and go for my desire. 

It’s a pretty tried and true suggestion when giving up an addicition or old habit to write about it when the craving arises.  I think that’s why I’m having trouble focusing on this entry – I want to disconnect from the beneficial option and my decision to write.

I’m going to commit right now to NOT have what I’m craving, even though it’s making me angry to do so – to ‘have to’ give up what I want; the old source of comfort. 

Sometimes it goes beyond one day at a time, to one moment at a time…can you hear me gritting my teeth?


One Response to “I’m about to make an egg salad wrap…”

  1. Susan Sopp November 17, 2011 at 3:15 am #

    I could hear you gritting your teeth : ) Self talk is awesome. I do it all the time in my head and sometimes I lose : ( I like the ONE MOMENT at a time it is true. If you do not think that way once you make a poor choice the rest of the day is DOWNHILL….so it truly is one moment at a time. XOXOXOXO Your recipe for the lentils sound GREAT!

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