Tomorrow is spa day…

15 Jan

and I’m very excited.  This is something I don’t do very often because it’s a bit spendy.  Especially when you are going somewhere like the Allison Hotel spa.  Unfortunately, the joy of relaxation and pampering is always accompanied by a little anxiety. 

A day or two before I go, I start worrying about certain things like – will the robe they have for me actually fit (or will I flash others when I sit down)…will I be the largest woman at the spa…will people think I don’t fit in because I’m fat…how many people will be standing around when I get undressed?  It’s a bit nerve racking – K-F*KD radio is exceptionally loud in these situations. Somehow I always seem to get through it and enjoy the luxurious experience. 

I used to feel a little of that in my Zumba classes –like the large misfit.  But, now that I’ve gotten a few of the routines under my belt, it’s less awkward and I am less anxious.  It does make me wonder, though, if I will always feel this way, no matter my size…

Today before Zumba, I stepped on the scale and discovered I’d lost 1.5 lbs since Monday, which is good.  For some reason, however, I thought it might be a touch more just because I’ve eaten pretty well this week AND, I made it to the gym 5 days out of 7.  This is big for me.  Sometimes I try to pass off a dog walk as a workout, but the dog wants to stop and sniff so often, the momentum just isn’t there. 

Because I prefer gym classes to the mind-numbingly dull treadmill, I tried a circuit workout on Wednesday.  OH EM GEE!  I thought I was pretty awesome because I can get through an hour Zumba class like a champ.  Well, that circuit sh*t is hard!  There were 14 stations (everything from doing the plank on a ball, to jumping on this half squishy ball thing, to literally shuffling though hoops), doing each for a minute and then moving on to the next.  Everyone goes around the circuit twice for a full body workout in about 45 minutes.

That class kicked my butt, and I felt great…AFTERwards.  I’m noticing I need to push myself harder now that I’m working out more often.  In light of that fact, I think this class needs to stay in the repertoire.  I’m a gal who usually likes things to be easy, and that class isn’t.  For that reason alone, I need to keep going.

After stepping on the scale, I started to panic a bit thinking I’m not going to meet my 50 lb goal by May 10th.  That’s a bit disturbing, and I don’t want to lose sight of that goal or let myself of the hook in anyway.  But, if I don’t make EXACTLY 50 lbs by that date, but still keep losing, even at a pound a week (or slower) I’m still on the right track. 

Let’s say it takes me 2 years or more to lose all my weight (50 pounds is just the first goal marker, by the way – there will be more to lose after that), that will still be an incredible achievement. (Hmmm, do I sound a little bit like I’m trying to convince myself with that statement?)  As long as there is weight loss, no gaining or going back to old habits, it’s a win/win.  I’ll get there eventually.

There are already so many changes I don’t write about or even stop to acknowledge.  For example, last night, Tom asked me if I wanted to split a cookie for dessert.  I said I didn’t think so as I knew I’d be having something sweet on Sunday night (Golden Globe party).  I mean, WHO AM I?  That doesn’t sound like me at all…or at least it didn’t used to.  The old me would not eat half a cupcake for dessert.  She’d have had the whole thing and wanted more.

I guess I’m slowly morphing into a healthier me.  I do hope at some point those things really DO feel like the present me.  It would be nice to really own them instead of thinking, “That’s not like me.  I don’t think those things.” 

Well, I guess I do now.

2 Responses to “Tomorrow is spa day…”

  1. Carol January 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

    Kendall, you are making a lifestyle change, and it’s working! Congrats…you are doing great.

  2. Diane January 16, 2012 at 4:11 am #

    Wow, what progress! Not only in your weight, but in your attitude and your thinking! I love that you’re keeping circuit training in the repertoire. And by the way, when I see someone “of size” at the gym or in a class, my ONLY thought is, “Good for her!” Truly, everyone enjoys seeing the “new blood” in class and watching the progress. It’s inspiring.

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