Please fasten your seat belts low and tight…

9 Feb

So, when I started this journey back in September, I believe I mentioned that one of the reasons I thought a blog was a good idea was because of the shame surrounding my weight and compulsive eating.  I was tired of all that shame I felt and hoped that if I admitted it, I’d feel more free (which I do) and maybe help someone else to feel less alone.  Well, in order to share today’s happy news, I must expose some of the shame associated with it.

It used to be that on most airplanes, I would need to ask for a seat belt extender as the one at my seat was just a bit too snug.  It was terribly embarrassing and I usually tried to find a way to ask without drawing too much attention to myself and the situation.  I always hoped the flight attendant would be somewhat sensitive in granting my request.  Most of the time they were kind.  It was also tough for me to put my tray table down for anything because it would hit my body and not completely open.

Well, today…..I didn’t need no stinkin’ extendah, and my tray table was perfectly usable.  I was soooooooooooooooooo thrilled.  I think this was the first time I really GOT the difference in my body size between now and 24ish LBs ago…the first time I could really see and ‘know’ the difference.  It was hugely exciting.  I even felt more comfortable in my seat, not feeling like I was spilling over into the next person’s chair.  I’m very happy experience this change.  It’s even better than smaller clothes!

I’m a little stressy about not working out this week, but will have to deal with getting back on that horse on Saturday.  With my sore foot (which is tons better) and being in NY for work, (I already have to get up at 6:00 just to get ready for meetings – which is really 3:00, ugh!) all day meetings, then evening events, it just won’t work.  Irrationally, I think I’m gonna gain all my weight back this week.  But, I’m already making good choices, so I think I’ll probably be okay.

Now, here’s to hopping I can fall asleep even though it’s really only 7:30 to my body clock!

2 Responses to “Please fasten your seat belts low and tight…”

  1. moobabes February 9, 2012 at 4:54 am #

    OH Kendall!! I’d kiss you if you were here–that’s how happy I am for you–just the best. Love you!

  2. Carol February 9, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    Hi Kendall,

    I’m just tearing up reading this post. I’m so happy for you!

    I’m also tearing up because I had no idea you were going through this “shame.” You have always been my fun and smart friend, who is fun to be around and go to movies with and talk books and movies and recipes and cooking with, etc. etc. etc. You are someone I admire for all the volunteering you do on top of working a paying job. I never thought of you as an overweight person who could be struggling with these things I see you writing about. I am sure your determination and positive changes will continue to pay off.

    Love you! Carol

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