Let’s do this…

1 Oct

Do I sound pumped and enthusiastic? Can you FEEL my burning desire to drink half my body weight in ounces of water and give up oatmeal, chips and pizza? Well, if you guessed that I’m not that excited, you’d be right.  BUT, I’m doing it…I’m faking it ‘til I make it, as they say.

At this moment I’m feeling T I R E D from drinking too much wine the last two nights, staying up too late and cramming down cookies and ice cream at midnight like the Artful Dodger with a crust of stolen bread.  I’m also feeling crabby – because, well, I WANT to have my Humboldt Fog and eat it, too.  I want everything for doing nothing.

Isn’t that kind of sad?  Or arrogant?  Or deluded?  I don’t want to have to work for things, I just want them to fall out of the sky.  It’s probably why I wanted to glide like Dorothy Hamill after my first ice skating lesson.  It’s not a quality of which I am proud.  And, I’m not really sure how I came to be this way (though I bet I could figure it out).

What I AM sure of is I need to change this trait.  I need to realize that hard work and achievement, as a result, feels awesome!  The death row ‘last meal’ mentality is getting old.  Plus, I always find it in my heart to grant myself a ‘pardon’, resulting in years and years of big calories and last meals.  I know some of you can relate – ‘oh, man, my ‘diet’ starts tomorrow, so I’m going to eat a whole pizza followed by some B & J’s, because after tomorrow I can’t have it anymore.’

That IS what it feels like to me.  I started out my vacation being somewhat reasonable with my choices.  I found breakfast and lunch to be easiest.  But, by dinner time, I wanted wine, appetizers, bread, even if I chose something fairly healthy on the menu.  THEN, as vacation started coming to an end, I could feel myself starting to panic…Saturday (two days and counting) at the farmer’s market I wanted a bit of everything…oh, that cupcake looks good, but what about chocolate, and etc. etc. etc.

By last night, the midnight dessert rave was on.  Tom and I did, however, make a menu plan and grocery list for the week yesterday afternoon.  That was something.  This afternoon when we landed at PDX, we SO wanted to call up Papa Murphy’s, the perfect dinner for one arriving home from a trip. BUT, we didn’t.  Five bags and $150 later, we had our groceries for the week (since we did NOT want to make more than one stop, this week it was all New Seasons all the way).

And, here it is 6:30 and chicken breasts have been roasted for the week, as well as a pan full of vegies.  I’ve made us a salad for tonight, AND lunch salads for tomorrow.  I’ve got some cashew butter and bananas for a bit of a ‘treat’.  There will be challenges – the detox will be a bitch.  AND, our food list consists of lean meats, vegies, fruits and nuts.  I’m going to miss dairy and (this really surprises me) grains.

But, I’ve committed myself to this, and the support thus far from Julie at Flourish (http://www.iamflourish.com/) has been really great.  I’ve never participated in anything like this before.  There is no way you feel you are going it alone.  The program consists of a weekly conference call with your coach, and you get recipes and learn about the nutrition behind what you are doing.  And I think, one of the BEST things is the support of everyone else in your group via a special Facebook page.  Logging in all your food is a bit of a pain (to me), but I think once you get into a routine, it’s better.  AND, doing it after each time you eat.  Saving it until the end of the day is tough.

So, here we go…I’m mentally ready for the good, the bad, the ugly and the triumphant, but I know emotionally, things will probably surprise me.  I’m quite sure I’ll learn new things about myself.  I’m a little scared, but…I CAN do hard things, right?

Let’s do this!

3 Responses to “Let’s do this…”

  1. Diane October 1, 2013 at 5:21 pm #

    Yes! Yes! Yes! You GOT this!

  2. Carol October 1, 2013 at 11:17 pm #

    Hi Kendall, It’s so hard to be good on vacation, especially in NAPA – where it’s all about food and wine! Good luck going forward – I know you can do this!

  3. Selena October 2, 2013 at 11:49 pm #

    Yes, you can and you already ARE!

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